Interview w/ Bessel van der Kolk & Licia Sky
t’s common to think trauma recovery is mostly about talking through what happened. But trauma doesn’t only live in memory. It shows up in the present body: tightness, numbness, a racing heart, shallow breathing, sudden panic, or a feeling of leaving ourselves. Many of us can explain the past clearly and still feel hijacked in the moment. That’s where somatic approaches help. They focus on what trauma actually impacts—our nervous system, our sense of safety, and our ability to stay connected to ourselves.
In a somatic frame, the first goal isn’t to tell the whole story. It’s to help the body feel safe enough, right now, to notice what’s happening without getting overwhelmed.
Safety And Connection Are The Foundation
Trauma often disrupts trust. If we’ve been hurt in relationships, closeness can feel dangerous. If our bodies have carried fear or shutdown for a long time, sensations can feel unsafe too. Somatic therapy respects that. We don’t force body awareness; we build the conditions for it.
A steady therapeutic relationship can become an anchor. Over time, consistent attunement helps the nervous system learn: “I can be with another person and still stay connected to myself.” That isn’t a mindset shift so much as a physiological one.
Synchrony Is A Nervous System Skill
One of the most powerful (and subtle) ingredients in healing is synchrony—the felt sense of being in rhythm with someone. A grounded voice, a steady pace, and a calm presence can help an activated system settle. Synchrony isn’t intellectual. It’s bodily.
In sessions, pacing matters. When we’re activated, we often speed up, lose our breath, or go “up into our heads.” Somatic work invites us to notice those shifts and gently return to the body. The therapist’s steadiness becomes part of the treatment: slowing down, tracking the moment, and offering a consistent rhythm the client can borrow until their system finds its own.
A Simple Practice To Rebuild Grounding
Somatic practices work best as invitations, not requirements. Even hearing the option can be informative: does the body feel a “yes,” a “no,” a blank, or a “maybe later”? That choice is part of rebuilding agency.
If it feels okay to try, we can begin with support and orientation:
Feel the feet on the floor and the hips in the chair.
Notice gravity—the gentle sense of being held.
Let the spine lengthen a bit, without forcing posture.
Track the breath as it moves, wherever it’s easiest to notice.
Then we add contact. Place one hand on the chest and one on the belly and simply sense the warmth and pressure of your hands. Notice the rise and fall with each breath. If emotion shows up, we don’t chase it. We return to sensation and ask, “Can I stay with this much?” Somatic healing often happens in these small, respectful doses.
Healing Includes New Experiences, Including Pleasure
Trauma narrows life. It can steal curiosity, spontaneity, and joy. Somatic work helps widen the window again by creating new experiences the nervous system can trust—movement, music, walking with someone safe, time in nature, even the simple delight of a pet greeting us like we matter. Pleasure isn’t frivolous. It’s regulating. It tells the body, “This moment is different. I am here, and I am safe enough.”
Over time, these moments become evidence. The nervous system learns through repetition: “I can feel sensation and survive it. I can connect and stay present. I can come back to myself.”
The Takeaway
Somatic trauma therapy isn’t about forcing the body to relive the past. It’s about restoring embodied safety, rebuilding rhythm and connection, and helping the nervous system learn new options in the present. If you’d like support that integrates these principles, learn more on our Trauma Therapy page.